Narandscha-Blog

#fall #ruin

Book for breakfast

vangoghcore:

by nasahubble

parsingstreet:

being on tumblr is just so cozy… you know what i mean? instagram and twitter are all flashy and loud but tumblr is as cozy as my bedroom with scented candles on a cold November night

Christmas preparations

I have a confession to make: I fuck up sometimes, at work, in relationships, at home with my family, outside with a stranger….

It just happens, and my brain is so good at finding excuses and hiding it, concealing it so that hopefully nobody will notice. Without malicious intend I sometimes imply that maybe it was somebody elses fault, that maybe it only happend because somebody else isn’t doing their job properly and I have to help them out and thus can not properly manage my own workload.

I actually planned for this to have a “i am wrong sometimes and have to learn to deal with my fuckups” kind of vibe.

But man, a situation has just happened which utterly shows, at least to me, the unqualifiedness of my favourite frenemie colleague. And I am enraged and shocked at so much incompetence, but as she is awesome at brownnosing the right people up the ladder she won’t ever be gone. Which means I have to leave this toxic environment as soon as possible.

The worst thing is that she is smart, but refuses to use even an ounce of her brain power towards the greater good, to help out the team, or to stand up for what’s right. No, instead she uses all her brain power to please and appeal to the ones highest on the ladder, treating them more on a friendship like basis rather than treating them like being superior inhierarchy to her. Always being nice and friendly and saying nice things. Going round saying it is her dream job here. And people believe her without questioning what it is that her dream job actually looks like. So sad when brownnosing gets you fruther ahead than good work does.

So concluding, yes I fuck up sometimes, but mostly while I am trying to do the right thing, pleasing everybody, and accepting personal sacrifices, like less to no free time, and taking the blame if necessary. Yet still I have to learn how to properly apologise and take responsibility for my fuckups even if they happened while I was doing whatever I was doing with the best intentions in mind.

theemotionmachine:

“Doing nothing is better than being busy doing nothing.”

—

Zen Proverb